Dedicated to ever smiling dear friend - Randy

I am not the type of person who would broadcast my feelings on a social platform. However, sometimes it is important to let it out as a catharsis for one's emotions. While, I still refuse to post it on social media and gather sympathies, I decided to write this post to pen down my thoughts and feeling.

This morning, I heard that a dear friend and comrade in faith - Randy Yamamoto - passed away due to heart attack. While I switch between denial and facing the reality my heart goes out to the family I knew so closely. I so wish I was there physically for them. Or pick up the phone and talk to them, to ensure they are okay. Will they be?

As I try face the reality, I am bewildered by the unfairness and unpredictability of life. Randy was a wonderful person, with always a smile on his face. He inspired me in many ways than one. His wife , kids - them as a family unit were an inspiration for me.

While this harsh reality is in my face, overwhelmed with emotion, as I question why, I wish I could explain to everyone the how short life is for ego, greed, jealous, and war.


.... there is no conclusion I could give to this post.

In mourning..
Shalini 

A conversation!!

A heart that doesn't listen,
A heart that only knows how to love,
A heart that bled several times,
... summons courage to beat again.

That smile so mesmerizing,
Those words so rejuvenating,
That warmth of the heart so tender,
... gives my heart the courage to beat again.

But,
somewhere, in the corner of the same heart,
implanted deep within and expanding its territory,
are the two brothers: fear and doubt,
... the rivals of courage for my heart to beat again.

What if...
...what I see is not true,
...what I hear is not genunine,
...what I feel is not real,
...will still you have the courage to beat again?

Then came a voice,
add another experience to life,
don't let the fear overwhelm you,
why not take a chance,
... cause I shall always have the courage to beat again!!

Dil titli sa!

Dil titli... dil titli sa!
kabhi yaadon, kabhi sapno ka...

khoye rang dhundhta,
.. khoyi khushbo ka pata

dil yaadon ki gali
.. khoya saathi dhundhta

dekhi zameen... dekha aasman
.. khojta raha tere nishan!

Dil titli, dil titli sa!!

(ridiculous ad... bt great bkgrnd song)

Forgive me God, 'cause I have sinned!

Forgive me God, 'cause I have sinned....
to trust thy neighbors
to trust thy friends
to trust thy teachers
to trust thy self....

Forgive me God, 'cause I have sinned....
to be kind to beggar on the street..
.. who I thought was in need.
to be kind to the child with dreamy eyes..
.. whose innocence killed by this world of lies....

Forgive me God, 'cause I have sinned....
to dream the impossible
to walk the unconventional
to dare the unthinkable
to believe against the will of the world....

Forgive me God, 'cause I have sinned ...
.. and shall forever keep sinning!!

Each time I thought... now, I will not!

NO, no more... no more messages, no calls...
None till I hear from the other side of the wall.

Engulfed by a restless feeling...
Confused with what am I dealing.

There's fury, frustration, irritation, and rage...
leaving my soul encaged.

Why not that and Why is it this...
Disguising the emotions that they are missed.

And then settles, the once tornado-like emotions...
Casting aside deluded mind's notion.

May be there is a good reason...
Each relationship goes through season.

So, I cast off my undisturbed, composed pretention...
Creating an outlet for redemption.

Next thing I know, I am moving my fingers...
With no apparent reason for things to linger.

Hoping the things would sort...
This is what happens... each time I thought... now, I will not!

.. when my cosmopolitan opinion demanded a reality check!!

For long women have been treated as the weaker gender. There is an endless list of campaigns and organization that tirelessly work to upliftment their status. Many of us believe that the status of women has actually improved; to the extent that I was almost convinced that from saving the girl child, the campaign might need to shift the focus to "save the boy-child"

But, this is just a cosmopolitan view, that too limited to parts of the "developed" city. The gender roles and limitations are so deeply engraved in us that it makes it impossible to push the limitations away, beyond a certain point.

Some of us, including myself, are fortunate to have got the right to equal opportunity (sometimes, more than equal). However, there are still innumerable women who have no right to speak, but responsibility to obey- obey anyone and everyone who can command her.

So, obviously the situation is far from improving. There is still a lot of awareness that needs to be created. A lot of empowerment that needs to be imparted. But, empowerment is not something that can be given... it has to be taken!!!
And this empowerment, is not limited to women. (By no means, I would like to be mistaken for a feminist) This empowerment is equal for both men and women. Both genders have a right to freedom. A right to make choices. A right to voice their opinions.

Stand up!!! You are not alone! You will never be!
Ignorance is the greatest evil!

.... because its your age!!

I don't really remember my days of fun and frolic. Times when there was nothing one has to worry, just play and have fun! .. But, those precious childhood days, too, are not devoid of pressure. Pressure to perform. ... taking that first step out of home, leaving our mommies Perform well in your admission selection process. Though, today, the parents are becoming more accepting, there are still typical examples of parents trying to push their babies over the edge. This came as a shocking revelation quite recently, due to close interaction with today's parents.

Just observing this mother pushing her 4 year old daughter, made me wonder about the pressure of living in our society.
When you are 4, you go to school.. study through.. go to college when 18.... do post-grad, work... and finally get married... to breed another generation.
All of that follows one another... at a pre-decided pace.

Well, of course, I don't mean to question this sequence.. but all I ask is why does everything need to be done.. because its your age?!!