Dedicated to ever smiling dear friend - Randy

I am not the type of person who would broadcast my feelings on a social platform. However, sometimes it is important to let it out as a catharsis for one's emotions. While, I still refuse to post it on social media and gather sympathies, I decided to write this post to pen down my thoughts and feeling.

This morning, I heard that a dear friend and comrade in faith - Randy Yamamoto - passed away due to heart attack. While I switch between denial and facing the reality my heart goes out to the family I knew so closely. I so wish I was there physically for them. Or pick up the phone and talk to them, to ensure they are okay. Will they be?

As I try face the reality, I am bewildered by the unfairness and unpredictability of life. Randy was a wonderful person, with always a smile on his face. He inspired me in many ways than one. His wife , kids - them as a family unit were an inspiration for me.

While this harsh reality is in my face, overwhelmed with emotion, as I question why, I wish I could explain to everyone the how short life is for ego, greed, jealous, and war.


.... there is no conclusion I could give to this post.

In mourning..
Shalini 

A conversation!!

A heart that doesn't listen,
A heart that only knows how to love,
A heart that bled several times,
... summons courage to beat again.

That smile so mesmerizing,
Those words so rejuvenating,
That warmth of the heart so tender,
... gives my heart the courage to beat again.

But,
somewhere, in the corner of the same heart,
implanted deep within and expanding its territory,
are the two brothers: fear and doubt,
... the rivals of courage for my heart to beat again.

What if...
...what I see is not true,
...what I hear is not genunine,
...what I feel is not real,
...will still you have the courage to beat again?

Then came a voice,
add another experience to life,
don't let the fear overwhelm you,
why not take a chance,
... cause I shall always have the courage to beat again!!

Dil titli sa!

Dil titli... dil titli sa!
kabhi yaadon, kabhi sapno ka...

khoye rang dhundhta,
.. khoyi khushbo ka pata

dil yaadon ki gali
.. khoya saathi dhundhta

dekhi zameen... dekha aasman
.. khojta raha tere nishan!

Dil titli, dil titli sa!!

(ridiculous ad... bt great bkgrnd song)

Forgive me God, 'cause I have sinned!

Forgive me God, 'cause I have sinned....
to trust thy neighbors
to trust thy friends
to trust thy teachers
to trust thy self....

Forgive me God, 'cause I have sinned....
to be kind to beggar on the street..
.. who I thought was in need.
to be kind to the child with dreamy eyes..
.. whose innocence killed by this world of lies....

Forgive me God, 'cause I have sinned....
to dream the impossible
to walk the unconventional
to dare the unthinkable
to believe against the will of the world....

Forgive me God, 'cause I have sinned ...
.. and shall forever keep sinning!!

Each time I thought... now, I will not!

NO, no more... no more messages, no calls...
None till I hear from the other side of the wall.

Engulfed by a restless feeling...
Confused with what am I dealing.

There's fury, frustration, irritation, and rage...
leaving my soul encaged.

Why not that and Why is it this...
Disguising the emotions that they are missed.

And then settles, the once tornado-like emotions...
Casting aside deluded mind's notion.

May be there is a good reason...
Each relationship goes through season.

So, I cast off my undisturbed, composed pretention...
Creating an outlet for redemption.

Next thing I know, I am moving my fingers...
With no apparent reason for things to linger.

Hoping the things would sort...
This is what happens... each time I thought... now, I will not!

.. when my cosmopolitan opinion demanded a reality check!!

For long women have been treated as the weaker gender. There is an endless list of campaigns and organization that tirelessly work to upliftment their status. Many of us believe that the status of women has actually improved; to the extent that I was almost convinced that from saving the girl child, the campaign might need to shift the focus to "save the boy-child"

But, this is just a cosmopolitan view, that too limited to parts of the "developed" city. The gender roles and limitations are so deeply engraved in us that it makes it impossible to push the limitations away, beyond a certain point.

Some of us, including myself, are fortunate to have got the right to equal opportunity (sometimes, more than equal). However, there are still innumerable women who have no right to speak, but responsibility to obey- obey anyone and everyone who can command her.

So, obviously the situation is far from improving. There is still a lot of awareness that needs to be created. A lot of empowerment that needs to be imparted. But, empowerment is not something that can be given... it has to be taken!!!
And this empowerment, is not limited to women. (By no means, I would like to be mistaken for a feminist) This empowerment is equal for both men and women. Both genders have a right to freedom. A right to make choices. A right to voice their opinions.

Stand up!!! You are not alone! You will never be!
Ignorance is the greatest evil!

.... because its your age!!

I don't really remember my days of fun and frolic. Times when there was nothing one has to worry, just play and have fun! .. But, those precious childhood days, too, are not devoid of pressure. Pressure to perform. ... taking that first step out of home, leaving our mommies Perform well in your admission selection process. Though, today, the parents are becoming more accepting, there are still typical examples of parents trying to push their babies over the edge. This came as a shocking revelation quite recently, due to close interaction with today's parents.

Just observing this mother pushing her 4 year old daughter, made me wonder about the pressure of living in our society.
When you are 4, you go to school.. study through.. go to college when 18.... do post-grad, work... and finally get married... to breed another generation.
All of that follows one another... at a pre-decided pace.

Well, of course, I don't mean to question this sequence.. but all I ask is why does everything need to be done.. because its your age?!!

So, thats what nice and sweet girls are for.. be dumped?!

Life is no Mills and Boon. But, still we all, atleast most of us,strongly believe in power of love. The feeling is amazing and addictive!!

I find it strange that off-late I have heard so many around me break-up. Almost like... 2008 should become a dedicated year of break-up.

So, we sit cozy with warm, steamy cup of coffee.... for, what you may call, a chat session.
And we talk about relationships and what it takes to keep one. And time and again I come across the word "physicality".
As an Indian... earlier it would be a hesitant topic to talk about.... most uncomfortable I would say. But then I wonder why? Why the basic human instinct is so tabooed in our culture? We don't like to talk about it ... but our movies are filled with it. And not to forget we've made more than 1 billion babies!!!

Then why is it so dramatic and needs to be talked and done so clandestinely?!
Ohh well, since that's how it's been for ages... who are we to challenge it.. or should we challenge it??
This is going a little off the topic.

Well, the verdict is out ...
Intimacy is part of being in a relationship. It's a state of mind- as of one my learned friend said....
For those to do it ... are called naughty and hottie....
For those who don't .... are still nice and sweets girls!!!... But, more often than you know... that's what sweet girls are for... be DUMPED!!!

Have we learnt our lessons, yet??!

It had barely been two days after the terrorists were defeated. And Mumbai was freed. The air was filled with mixed reactions.. anger, rage, fear, hurt, tears.. tears.. and more tears.
Everyone has just one thing in mind terrorism needs to be fought against and annihilated!
I, too, feel very strongly about it. A strong rush passes through each time I see those horrific pics. These are some experience that can never be forgotten. And even worse it is for those who have experienced it first hand.

But, there was something I came across that surprised me.. shocked.. I should say.
It was a picture in a leading national newspaper. A group of VHP people burning the Pakistani flag. Shocked.. I wondered... is this how we are really planning to combat terrorism? So, violence for violence.. is that really it??
I am too dumb to understand politics... too dumb to know who did what, to whom, and when.
All I know is that RESPECT... I know respect for life. But, don't think me too naive. I am not saying that even if your life at risk, I sit there watching myself being killed. But, going out there to kill someone else because my people were killed too... is just no answer.

Our problem is not Pakistan or Pakistani.. Our problem is the mindset. It is those people who mislead innocent young people like Kasab. And to the young people... that is why you need to educate yourself!!!... EDUCATE... not just earn a degree and be called qualified.
It surprises some.. how these educated terrorist, from good institutes and family go on such wrong path. I say.. it's hardly surprising... cause a degree doesn't educate you.. it just enhances your skill and knowledge set. Education is what we really do with that knowledge and skill we gathered.
And here in lies the importance of educators!!!!

once again.. I am reminded of these line ...
Where the mind is without fear
.... and the head is held high...
where knowledge is free
... and the world is not broken into fragments
In that paradise, my father, let my country awake!!

On restoring the dignity of human life!

Sitting in a warm and relaxed corner of my house, I was intently reading. Wondering in my thoughts, how world peace could be achieved? Something, which perhaps, to most is not achievable, and according to an esteemed dignitary in India, doesn't exists. In a world which has become, almost, like a burning ball (with wars being fought on almost every continent) to talk about peace seems insanity. I wondered: on how is it that we can make this unattainable a reality.. just when my phoned beeped with a sms.... "Benazir Bhutto assassinated"

Shocked and unable to believe, I run to switch the TV on. It's true!! She has been assassinated. Brutally killed by men of her own country.

She was not related to me. She was not of my country. I am not even aware of her political standing. I wasn't even aware of her political agenda or the future plans she had for her country... let alone support them.
Yet, I am shaken. I am shaken by the coldness that must have set in the heart of those people who executed this daring act.

Although, shocked... it reminds me to what I was reading.. just a few minutes ago. How mystically connected were these two instances.
Peace is not a dream. It is a reality.. correction... it CAN be a reality- only when we decide to restore the respect for sanctity of life; restore the respect for dignity of human life!

And that begins with overcoming our own prejudices and stereotypes!!
So, how do we do that?
Of course, no one in their sane minds can go and lecture those terrorists and militants.
I think, the only way to do this, is when we, in our individual lives, determine to respect the life of those around us; not just in words, but in true sense.

All I can say before I conclude is that... Peace is a reality, ONLY when we want to work for it!!

Redefined the role of Women in 21st Century

This is no attempt to impart any piece of information that you might not already know. It is merely an account of what I have experienced first hand.

So, every now and then, we have the topic of changing definition of role(s) played by women in our modern society. Undoubtedly, a lot has changed since my grandmother's time, if not my mother's. Surely, viewed within the time frame of two generation our lives have changed tremendously. The freedom and privileges I enjoy, were perhaps not available to my Nani. And a perfect example of it is that she was dropped out of school to give her brother's a chance.

Yet, the struggles faced by my generation of women haven't changed much. We are still expected to take care of the house and family, and treat it as our primary responsibility. All I want to ask is- WHY? Why should it be the women treating the house as their primary chore?

I was almost convinced by the idea that house is where the women belong, brain washed by my boss (doing so for his own means, perhaps!). Until, I saw "Mona Lisa Smile". Why is it that women can't do both? why should a women compromise, if she has talent? If she has dreams?
Perhaps, it might just require an extra effort, some extra strength to carry out responsibility at both front.Why can't we do that? Or taking it even further, Why should she not be supported by her husband to accomplish her goals? Especially, when she is ready to go through any struggle for determine the success of her husband.

I do understand that, perhaps the concept of being a home-maker (I prefer that over house-wife), started as mere division of responsibility. The men take care of arena outside the house, while the women take care of the inside, and I respect that. But, Why can't there be equal division of responsibility of both the outside and inside world. Especially, if we want to do it.

Again, the debate is not which role is right or wrong. Right and wrong are only relative. What might be right for me, might not be so for someone with different set of circumstances.
It is not even a debate of whether women should sit at home or work.
It is not even about the need for a women to work, when her husband can take care of her.

It is about following one's heart. It is about not living a life of regret, hoping for things to be different.

There is nothing wrong in being a housewife. It was my greatest fortune to always have my mother for me, and perhaps something that I would like to do for my kids. But, the only criteria is that whatever I do, I will do on own volition, not as an imposition.
If women can support the men to achieve their highest potential. Isn't it about time they start thinking about how to support us??

In conclusion, all I can say is that, I still don't have an absolute stand, choosing one extreme over the other. I just believe that life needs to be lived in moderation. No matter what I do, I will do it as I desire or mutually agreed, not on being imposed.

And that's what I expect out of this piece of writing- For women to think... think freely, and then decide.

At last but not the least, I dedicate this to all the mothers who have devoted their lives to give their children a chance to grow and ability to question, and not just accept their circumstances because that is how it is.

Ode to the mothers!!!
Cheers...
:-)

The beginning

For long I had been thinking of creating a blogspot. A place to note down my thoughts and reactions, primarily for myself, but also exchange thoughts with friends.

Insight, ability to think- is what distinguishes us as Intellectual beings.

I intend to use this space to utilitize this gift of thinking to its utmost, as I stride towards achieving my mentor's vision of a peaceful world.

Concluding this blog with a famous peom by Rabindranath Tagore-

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow
domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the
dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought
and action--
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

Take care... :)